My cousin, Julie, has gotten me HOOKED on sock monkeys! She posted some pics of her latest creations, and I fell in love immediately. I tell ya, I have THE most creative family ever...!!
I started my own sock monkey last night. I kinda wish I had taken pictures of the process to share with you here (mostly so I'd have more photos to post) - but, alas, I did not. I did take this one pic with my camera phone:
He's not quite finished, yet. I think I may have over-stuffed my monkey, as I ran out of stuffin just after filling his torso and thunder thighs.
//I can't believe my monkey has cellulite//
I chose to do a (mostly) all white monkey, because I don't think I've ever seen an all white one before. This one will have a buddy soon in opposite, coordinating colors. I've already pre-cut all the pieces. Once I get some more stuffin, it's on!
Once again I've let my blogging responsibilities slack, so I thought I'd get on here and give my millions of readers a quick n mini update on things:
1. I made it through the THREE dance classes I was to sub - not without my usual 2-day post aches and pains - but it was fun! I had "I Look Good" stuck in my head for days... (and now I do again)
2. I just booked my 2nd wedding! YAY!! I'm shooting a lovely lass I've known for many years and meeting her hubbie-to-be on the 26th for their engagement shoot. I can't wait to share what we come up with!!
3. FOTY is still being just that: Father of the Year. I don't want to devote too much energy to it, but he and his family are ri·dic·u·lous. I saw his charming sister out at Chick-fil-a, feeding HER children junk... *gasp* The kids all spoke to one another, and she avoided eye contact with me.
4. One of my only friends from the ATL just text me to tell me her beloved proposed!! Congrats, B! {I foresee travel and another wedding in my future ;) }
5. I'm getting back into my painting & crochet'ing <--- I can't type that word properly without thinking of "shitting" / I don't know. Don't ask.
6. I'm still single and lovin it. Sure, there are those moments when I long for someone to dote on me... but then I remember I'd rather the universe send Mr. Right into my life, rather than settling for Mr. Conveniently Right Now.
7. I don't really have a Seven, but it's my favorite number, and as such, should be included.
{{Sidenote: OMG is so yesterday, so why not just pick any ole thing to "Oh My"... and *kankles* is a funny word. Go on, try it. Say "Oh My Kankles!!" You giggled inside a lil' bit, didn't you?}}
OMK!
What have I done gotten myself into??
I agreed to sub a couple of classes tonight - which I'm kinda excited about / kinda nervous about. I miss dance; it's one of my many passions. And the release you feel... indescribable. But I haven't danced since August/September... And even then, I just subbed a class. Before that, it'd been probably a year - maybe more. (who's counting?)
I don't even know what "the kids" are listening to these days... not that it matters, I guess. I just don't want them to be bored in my class.
Oh, and did I mention it's been a while since I've taught?
THAT is how the lady with my children's afterschool care program should have started her conversation with me on the phone.
But, no.
She didn't.
THIS is how the conversation went, instead:
Moi: "Hello?"
RA: "Yeah... Is this.... uh! I don't even know who I'm calling for.... I guess... Lopez??"
Moi: "Yes. That's my children's last name."
RA: "Ok. This is 'so-n-so' with aftercare. for Gabriella."
[Right about here is where some reassurance that my children were okay should have taken place.]
RA: "Yeah, she... We... They need to be picked up by 4:30. We're shuttin' down."
Moi: "Oh.... Ok..."
RA: "Because of the weather. They need to be picked up."
Moi: "Oh. Okay. That's... That's fine... I was just starting to get a little worried there..." <--My hint that Rude Ass should have begun the convo a little differently.
RA: "Yeah. There isn't even a name listed here. Like for the parent..... Unless it's this... Camille.... Mow-something?"
Moi: "Yes. That's me. I'm their mother."
RA: "Oh. Well they need to be picked up by 4:30."
I'm not sure she made it clear.... What time do they need to be picked up???
I am *ubber* excited right now (and I must be, because I never use the word "ubber" in my vocabulary, otherwise)...
I posted on my Facebook status that I want to do a photoshoot series titled "Body Image" and requested anyone interested in being one of my models send me a message.
Within SECONDS my inbox (and my phone) went nuts!! I had so many more people interested than I imagined would be!
And when I explained to them that this would be an "artsy" shoot - and not your average portrait session - they were STILL on board. Yay!!
I was inspired by an idea I threw by Ami at the end of our first 7SINS shoot we did a few weeks ago... She was already post makeup, and I just wanted to play around with the mirrors I had gotten for our first sin, Pride. Here's what sparked Body Image:
I think there are too many women out there who are so judgemental about their own bodies, and they don't see their beauty. I imagine we ALL have our "flaws" and bumps and scars we hide. No one is perfect... and that's where true perfection begins. Accepting who you are and loving every curve!
Also, there are vast numbers of girls/women out there who post these half naked photos of themselves on the internet, and that's All it looks like to me: That they're half naked. And it CAN be done in an artsy way, so it just kills me....
Why "model" in an itty bitty polk-a-dot bikini, standing there with your hands by your side & one knee popped??
Lately I've been diggin' yellow... I have this bright yellow hat (that I picked up in Atlanta right before I moved back / maybe I've *been* diggin yellow) that I want to design a dress to go with. I have this pair of bright yellow faux gator skin looking heels that are pretty fabulous, too. And now, SMJ is going yellow... and black & white & grey (cause I'm all about the grayscale, too).
My yellow state of mind has added this selection to my internal soundtrack for today:
Go on and press play so you can groove properly as you take in the symbolism & psychology of the Mellow Yellow.....
Yellow shines with optimism, enlightenment, and happiness. Shades of golden yellow carry the promise of a positive future. Yellow will advance from surrounding colors and instill optimism and energy, as well as spark creative thoughts.
HOW THE COLOR YELLOW AFFECTS US PHYSICALLY
Stimulates Mental Processes good.
Stimulates the Nervous System good.
Activates Memory extremely good... I'm not even 30, and I feel like I have Alzheimer's sometimes!
Encourages Communication heck yeah! another good.
YELLOW: THE COLOR OF THE SOLAR PLEXUS CHAKRA
Yellow is the color of the Solar Plexus Chakra, also known as Manipura.
This chakra is located in the stomach area. It is linked to the stomach, liver, skin, large intestine, muscular system, and solar plexus area.
[Important Part:] The Solar Plexus Chakra is representative of vitality and will. When this chakra is open, it acts to empower a person and help them find their personal strength. It will help turn dreams and goals into reality.
Gemstones that will aid the SPC include amber and citrine.
PSYCHOLOGICALLY, Yellow is the happiest color in the color spectrum.
For some reason, I only usually get on here and put the metaphorical pen to the paper when I'm fuming about something... I'm not quite sure why that is. I guess there just isn't a lot going on up there otherwise (which is really sad to admit).
Today, though, I have a treat for you! I wanted to post it on my Facebook (where else does one dispel greatly important information??), but I have some youngins I used to teach dance to on there (along with some of their parental units). So I turn to you. My loyal subjects... er... I mean, readers.
The treat is yet another blog that you need to follow. Honestly, I've only read one of his posts, but it was *THAT* good. Read for yourself:
Men of the world, the straight ones, nobody wants to see your afro down below. Yes, I said it. You know that judgmental glare you cast when something offensive crosses your line of sight? How many times have you winced when a hunting buddy mixes his camouflage patterns? I know, right! It’s ridiculous. So, imagine what your potential sex partner thinks when you reveal the privet you’re sporting in your tighty whities. I’m not trying to be hurtful boys. We gays are taught about these things during our “conversion.” That and the mind-blowing “gay face.” Look, your mother probably never thought to suggest it. I’m sure it never crossed your father’s mind. Let’s face it, if people took the time to teach their boys to keep their peckers clean, God probably wouldn’t have given circumcision the go ahead. Seriously, how hard can it be? Much simpler than keeping a vagina clean, I’d think, but that’s just me. So, without further a due, here’s the long and short (pardon the pun) of grooming down under.
Never go at your bits without doing your homework.
The worst thing you can do is jump in without a plan. Look at yourself in a full length mirror and really think about what will flatter your man weasel. As with hairstyles, not everyone can pull off a faux-hawk or a mullet. conversely, not every crotch-style will work for you. Keep in mind the magic word: proportion. If you have a tiny penis, consider less pubic hair. If you’re well endowed, you should keep it simple and let the hammer make the statement.
Get some clippers
Wether or not you decide to remove errant hair or create shapes, you should shorten the crop.
It only takes your sex partner getting a “long and curly” caught in the molars once to quit going downtown. Forget what you’ve heard. Women won’t think you’re gay for keeping things up down there, any more than they’ll think you’re Jewish for having no foreskin. Just make a practice run on your leg hair before you take the hand-held bush hog to your private’s. And, for god’s sake, be careful not to get your nut sack caught in the blades. I almost bled out that way once, well, thrice.
To shave or not to shave
Going bare is a personal preference. If you feel good about it, then go for it. Keep in mind, though, that it usually only works for guys with zero percent body fat. Otherwise, you just end up looking like a really big toddler. You should, at the very least, shave the scrotum. If you decide to shave at all, remember to
trim first. Use clippers with a guard to knock back your pubes, then you can shave. This extends the life of the razor. Speaking of razors, The cheapest will do fine if, and only if, you take your time. The last thing you want to do is shave off a nut.
Caution: Hot Wax
Some men prefer being waxed as it prevents annoying stubble, as well as dingleberrys. Women have extauled the virtues of a good clean up using wax for decades. I have, on occasion, experienced the benefits of this procedure, but be warned, it’s not for the faint of heart. What you’ve heard is true. It is painful, but only for an instant. Just have a stiff drink, man up and bite down on a leather strap. Never try to wax yourself, though. I did it once and almost ripped off my ass hole.
It’s not called man-scaping for nothing
Here’s the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. What straight guy doesn’t appreciate what curb-appeal can do for real estate’s value? Cutting back an over grown yard makes the outdoor space seem more open, thus increasing the implied value, right? Similarly, knocking back the pubes will make your penis appear bigger. As will losing weight, but that’s another matter altogether.
Now go ahead and click the Add button to add him to your collection of funnies, because I foresee great things ahead: Eddie Outlaw
