I Wanna Be a Peacock

I think I'm being stalked... by Husband#2.

Within seconds - SECONDS, people - of updating my status to "Hail!" today, he was on the phone calling me to "check on me".

Maybe it's just me, but it seems rather creepy - even if it's my own husband.

And it isn't just this one instance. If you've read previous posts of mine, you know. He does all kinds of checking up on me, and it's kinda annoying.

I mean, who wants a stalker? Even if it is a loved one... especially if it's a loved one. That isn't love (to be stalked; to be placed in a cage and admired).

Which leads me to my recent fascination with peacocks. I've been contemplating the why of peacocks, and I think I've come up with a new explanation. I used to think it was because one of the symbolic meanings I've found is "spiritual transformation" - which is definitely part of it: I've been very into searching within (and hope to maintain that search and not let it just be a passing fad).

And then there's the more obvious relation to peacocks: vanity. I used to be more vain. I don't think I'm quite on that path any more, though - or at least I hope not. I don't even wear makeup any more, which is a huge leap from where I used to be: never leaving the house without my mask on. It's gotten to the point where I actually think I look "weird" when I do wear it now.

Ever since I decided to use a peacock as the subject for the art auction project I did with my daughter's class, I have seen peacocks EVERYWHERE: pictures, charms, on books... I'm one of those that believes in signs and everything happening for a reason. And how can I not, when I pick up a book at random and just happen to flip it open to a page with a peacock on it?

I also spotted a pillow at Target recently (which I now wish I had taken a picture of so I could post it on here - I think my blog needs more visual aids...), which led me to my latest interpretation. The pillow, of course, had a peacock on it. And also on the pillow was a cage. The peacock wasn't in the cage, naturally - but next to it.

So, an empty cage in the upper left and peacock in the lower right. The meaning suddenly flooded my mind in one of those Ah-ha! moments: The peacock is always free. It's never locked up in a cage. It's the one free to roam about at the zoo.