idiot

I had intended on writing a completely different rant, but when in the moment: What do you do??

What

do

you

do

?

When I say I'm over people, I don't mean I'm over EVERYONE - just ignorant people. And, yes, I'm using my own personal definition of the word as my guide.

And, for the record, if you think this post is about You, then odds are, you're probably right. 

No, you may not have been what fueled it this time... But there's a good chance you have in the past (or you will in the future). And you probably need someone to tell you that you're an idiot, too. 

YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

I'm actually doing you a favor. I mean, how on Earth will you know otherwise?? 

Everyone else has probably told you your whole life that you're right - or has at least appeased your way of thinking, in turn making you think you have a clue in your brain. 

But I'm here to tell you... You don't.

And, no, I can't tell you why you're an idiot. I'd like to throw out a "I guess you were just born that way" - but that's probably not true. Not completely. 

It's not your fault. I don't blame you - not for that, at least.

I'm sure it has been ingrained in you your whole life, and you know no different. What I do "blame" you for (for lack of a better word) is continuing to be ignorant.

idiot.

If I have to pretend I fit into the small-minded mold that is You in order to gain your friendship, then I feel for you... Deep inside, yours must truly be a lonely soul. Because no one - NO ONE - will ever be enough to enrich your life. Not your spouse. Not your children. Not even your own mother. There isn't one single being that believes exactly as you do, but you would rather close the door on anything that is "different" than exhaust yourself by seeing the good.

I realize it's a daunting task to step outside Yourself and find value in those that were not cloned from your essence. Like I said, you were probably conditioned Not To.

Just know that in barricading yourself, we all lose. 

I Pledge Allegiance

"PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL! MY GENERATION GREW UP RECITING THIS EVERY MORNING IN SCHOOL WITH MY HAND ON MY HEART. THEY NO LONGER DO THAT FOR FEAR OF OFFENDING SOMEONE! LET'S SEE HOW MANY AMERICANS WILL RE-POST THIS & NOT CARE ABOUT OFFENDING ANYONE"

Each time I see this (or something similar) reposted on Facebook, I cringe a little bit. My heart grieves at the irony... When you are saying / supporting / spreading negativities "in the name of God", some soul searching and reevaluation are in order. 

Body Image

I am *ubber* excited right now (and I must be, because I never use the word "ubber" in my vocabulary, otherwise)...

I posted on my Facebook status that I want to do a photoshoot series titled "Body Image" and requested anyone interested in being one of my models send me a message.

Within SECONDS my inbox (and my phone) went nuts!! I had so many more people interested than I imagined would be!

And when I explained to them that this would be an "artsy" shoot - and not your average portrait session - they were STILL on board. Yay!!

I was inspired by an idea I threw by Ami at the end of our first 7SINS shoot we did a few weeks ago... She was already post makeup, and I just wanted to play around with the mirrors I had gotten for our first sin, Pride. Here's what sparked Body Image:

I think there are too many women out there who are so judgemental about their own bodies, and they don't see their beauty. I imagine we ALL have our "flaws" and bumps and scars we hide. No one is perfect... and that's where true perfection begins. Accepting who you are and loving every curve!

Also, there are vast numbers of girls/women out there who post these half naked photos of themselves on the internet, and that's All it looks like to me: That they're half naked. And it CAN be done in an artsy way, so it just kills me....

Why "model" in an itty bitty polk-a-dot bikini, standing there with your hands by your side & one knee popped??

Come on. You can do better.

And that photographer can do better.

Put some creativity in it, PLEASE!

Let's make some ART.

Why is it I only usually write when I have something negative to say??

For some reason, I only usually get on here and put the metaphorical pen to the paper when I'm fuming about something... I'm not quite sure why that is. I guess there just isn't a lot going on up there otherwise (which is really sad to admit).

Today, though, I have a treat for you! I wanted to post it on my Facebook (where else does one dispel greatly important information??), but I have some youngins I used to teach dance to on there (along with some of their parental units). So I turn to you. My loyal subjects... er... I mean, readers.

The treat is yet another blog that you need to follow. Honestly, I've only read one of his posts, but it was *THAT* good. Read for yourself:

Man-scaping 101

Men of the world, the straight ones, nobody wants to see your afro down below. Yes, I said it. You know that judgmental glare you cast when something offensive crosses your line of sight? How many times have you winced when a hunting buddy mixes his camouflage patterns? I know, right! It’s ridiculous. So, imagine what your potential sex partner thinks when you reveal the privet you’re sporting in your tighty whities. I’m not trying to be hurtful boys. We gays are taught about these things during our “conversion.” That and the mind-blowing “gay face.” Look, your mother probably never thought to suggest it. I’m sure it never crossed your father’s mind. Let’s face it, if people took the time to teach their boys to keep their peckers clean, God probably wouldn’t have given circumcision the go ahead. Seriously, how hard can it be? Much simpler than keeping a vagina clean, I’d think, but that’s just me. So, without further a due, here’s the long and short (pardon the pun) of grooming down under.

Never go at your bits without doing your homework.

The worst thing you can do is jump in without a plan. Look at yourself in a full length mirror and really think about what will flatter your man weasel. As with hairstyles, not everyone can pull off a faux-hawk or a mullet. conversely, not every crotch-style will work for you. Keep in mind the magic word: proportion. If you have a tiny penis, consider less pubic hair. If you’re well endowed, you should keep it simple and let the hammer make the statement.

Get some clippers

Wether or not you decide to remove errant hair or create shapes, you should shorten the crop.

It only takes your sex partner getting a “long and curly” caught in the molars once to quit going downtown. Forget what you’ve heard. Women won’t think you’re gay for keeping things up down there, any more than they’ll think you’re Jewish for having no foreskin. Just make a practice run on your leg hair before you take the hand-held bush hog to your private’s. And, for god’s sake, be careful not to get your nut sack caught in the blades. I almost bled out that way once, well, thrice.

To shave or not to shave

Going bare is a personal preference. If you feel good about it, then go for it. Keep in mind, though, that it usually only works for guys with zero percent body fat. Otherwise, you just end up looking like a really big toddler. You should, at the very least, shave the scrotum. If you decide to shave at all, remember to

trim first. Use clippers with a guard to knock back your pubes, then you can shave. This extends the life of the razor. Speaking of razors, The cheapest will do fine if, and only if, you take your time. The last thing you want to do is shave off a nut.

Caution: Hot Wax

Some men prefer being waxed as it prevents annoying stubble, as well as dingleberrys. Women have extauled the virtues of a good clean up using wax for decades. I have, on occasion, experienced the benefits of this procedure, but be warned, it’s not for the faint of heart. What you’ve heard is true. It is painful, but only for an instant. Just have a stiff drink, man up and bite down on a leather strap. Never try to wax yourself, though. I did it once and almost ripped off my ass hole.

It’s not called man-scaping for nothing

Here’s the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. What straight guy doesn’t appreciate what curb-appeal can do for real estate’s value? Cutting back an over grown yard makes the outdoor space seem more open, thus increasing the implied value, right? Similarly, knocking back the pubes will make your penis appear bigger. As will losing weight, but that’s another matter altogether.

Now go ahead and click the Add button to add him to your collection of funnies, because I foresee great things ahead: Eddie Outlaw

That is all.

His. Mine. & The Truth

I have been cheated on by every boyfriend I've ever had.

Yes... every boyfriend.

It goes without saying, I'm sure, that I'm the common denominator.

So it must be "me" or something I did.

But, still, THEY cheated on ME... Not the other way around. I am the naive little twit who has yet to experience the form of guilt that comes from being unfaithful. I've always been more of a battered dog who sticks around after the fact, hoping I can put the pieces back together. Because I'm a fixer, and I can fix anything. Right??

This is why my blood boils when I hear family members and/or friends of theirs rave about what a saint these unfortunate gentlemen who have dated me are. I can literally feel the anger to my core.

"I'm glad you think my brother deserves some happiness for all the hurt you put him through! Since you obviously can't take a hint let me spell it out for you... My brother has forgiven you because he's got a big heart like that, and I love him for it. But me? You hurt my brother to the diabolical extreme, the way YOU did. You're on my shit list for life. Keep your name OFF my family members' pages. I don't wanna see your name or your stupid comments."

Wow.

Words cannot describe the mixture of rage and pain building inside right now as I reread that blow. A part of me wants to comment back on the irony of her defending her brother's honor and bringing up words like "faithful" in the same breath, when there was a time I was forgiving him for his indiscretions with, not only his ex-fiancé at the time, but some other chick whose name I didn't even know, as well.

[And those are just the ones he told me about.]

Yes, I see... I'm the bitch who ended the relationship. My fault. Completely. It's so big of him to have given me his forgiveness.

Ironic.

I really despise when people open their mouths without knowing the whole story. But most people don't choose to dispel their own fault in things, do they? No, most people play the martyr and caress their violin for their friends and family - which is odd, being as these are the people who are supposed to be the most accepting of us, right? We can't tell them the truth... What will they think of us?!.

So here I am, The Devil Incarnate, blogging about it... instead of tearing the wings and halo from this girl's faux perception of her brother for the world to view. But I imagine her devotion to her brother is much like mine to my family: nothing and no one can shake it. So let her have him cloaked in gold, wearing a robe. What good would it really do to point out that he is a mere mortal and actually made mistakes in this life?

Sure, my ego would boast with pride and a "we showed her" - but only temporarily.

Then what?

Then I've dished out the diabolical cruelty I've been labeled with.

Besides, as one of my grandmothers once told me... There are three sides to every story:

His. Mine. & The Truth.

Facebook Friends

We all have them... Cause everyone has a Facebook these days. And on there we have our friends, and then we have our Facebook friends. They're easy to tell apart: your real friends are the ones you talk to on a regular basis and even, technology forbid, see them... IN PERSON.

Facebook Friends, however, are the ones you either requested because they have a private page and you couldn't snoop their life without asking to be their "friend" - or maybe you accepted a friend request from them because you think maybe you remember someone with that name going to your high school back in the day. Or perhaps you just accept any ole person as your "friend" to get those numbers up...

But my brother: He has over 900 Facebook friends... NINE HUNDRED, people!! I don't know if I've even met 900 people - let alone have that many friends! But if you know my brother - and if you're breathing, you most likely do - then you know that he probably actually does have that many friends - possibly more.

Everywhere my brother goes he knows someone. Either people recognize him or he recognizes them, and they seem almost excited to be in his presence. And who wouldn't be? He's one of the greatest people I know - and I'm not just saying that because he's my baby bro. Besides being gorgeous and incredibly intelligent, he just has a wonderful soul. He can be friends with anyone.

I see these traits in my son, too. I used to think he was going to be my shy, quiet child - but now I know better. He's the one that will walk up to any kid and ask if he can play with them. He has such a sweet soul, and if he grows up to be like my baby bro, I will be so proud.