Proud Momma

My son just melts my heart... I tell ya, I look into those big brown eyes, and I know I've already lost!

He had his Awards Day yesterday, and (of course) I teared up... I'm just so proud of the little man he's becoming!!

I was glad they were giving each child a certificate of completion for Kindergarten {no one would feel left out} - but then my boy got an additional award for Art. Love it! How fitting is that in this family?!. 

Today is my daughter's big day (Awards). Her teacher has already told me she recommends she be in the gifted program, so I'm sort of expecting she will get an award of some sort. It would break my heart is she didn't get anything... but it would also tug on the ole heartstrings if she receives more awards than her brother. Is it wrong of me to wish for her to get the same number of awards?? 

I fear this will always be a struggle for me... I want so badly for everything to be "fair" and even with them - which, no, I'm not naive enough to think life will actually work out that way. I realize it's beyond my control.

I know they both have their own strengths. It just kills me when they say things like, "I'm not smart like Gabi" - which my son told me the other day. {tug} I reminded him that he's only in Kindergarten and he's still learning - plus, Little Miss Know It All has two years of school on him.

That didn't seem to help his self-esteem much... but I don't really know what will. I hope receiving an Art Award will push him to develop his creativity (yes, I know, he's only 6).

Let me interject: I don't want to be one of "those" moms either... living through my child. Creativity and The Arts have just always been a big part of our family.

At any rate, I'm a proud momma, and I have some amazing angels in my life!

Update: The Goob got two awards, as well. {whew}

Everything's Okay, But...

THAT is how the lady with my children's afterschool care program should have started her conversation with me on the phone.

But, no.

She didn't.

THIS is how the conversation went, instead:

Moi: "Hello?"

RA: "Yeah... Is this.... uh! I don't even know who I'm calling for.... I guess... Lopez??"

Moi: "Yes. That's my children's last name."

RA: "Ok. This is 'so-n-so' with aftercare. for Gabriella."

[Right about here is where some reassurance that my children were okay should have taken place.]

RA: "Yeah, she... We... They need to be picked up by 4:30. We're shuttin' down."

Moi: "Oh.... Ok..."

RA: "Because of the weather. They need to be picked up."

Moi: "Oh. Okay. That's... That's fine... I was just starting to get a little worried there..." <--My hint that Rude Ass should have begun the convo a little differently.

RA: "Yeah. There isn't even a name listed here. Like for the parent..... Unless it's this... Camille.... Mow-something?"

Moi: "Yes. That's me. I'm their mother."

RA: "Oh. Well they need to be picked up by 4:30."

I'm not sure she made it clear.... What time do they need to be picked up???

Oh, And It Gets Better...

When I picked the kids up from Father of the Year on Sunday, Gabi practically leaped from the car in excitement to tell me their new motivation for "staying on green" that their father had come up with.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess I need to tell you, since it involves you," he says.

FOTY promised the kids I {Yes, I} would dish out $5 a week for each child if they would stay on green, keep their room clean, brush their teeth, shower, etc.... an allowance, basically.

Let me interject: I don't mind doing for my kids. They are my children. I love them. I want to everything I can for them.

But Seriously?!.

FOTY promised them that I would give them money??

Without consulting me first.

What is going on up there??

And by "there" I mean the spot where most individuals house a brain.

FOTY owes me two months worth of child support... and he promises my kids I will give them money.

Where does he presume this money is going to come from exactly??

And, of course, I didn't want to belittle him in front of them and his wife and stepson...

I found myself almost glad that Gabi came home on yellow yesterday (not the good color), because I don't know how I'm going to keep this promise that was made for me to my children.

Find the good, Camille.

Find the good.

The only positive thing that came from this is that Christian finally came home on green yesterday. But, honestly, I think that has more to do with his teacher, because we had a phone conference about a new method she's going to try implementing for his behavior.

That's all I have to say.

moo humbug.

The "Hows" & "Whys"

How is it that Husband#1 is allowed to live beyond his means (in a house that he couldn't afford when we were married - that he also was supposed to either sell or refinance within two years of our divorce in '06/'07), taking care of his second wife and stepson... but he can't pay his measly $300 child support he fought so hard to eradicate for our two kids?

- and I use "our" loosely -

And why can't anyone at DHS do anything about it when he gets behind? I never received child support for September, and when I call to get help from them, what do they tell me? "We don't view it as a missed month. It goes in his arrears."

So..... I'm just out that money, and there are no consequences for him?? - or at least the "consequences" don't kick in until he is $2,000 or so behind.

WTH?!.

It will take half a year (plus) for him to get that far behind, with only $300/month for two children as his child support.

I know I don't have it as bad off as some.

It could always be worse. [knock on wood]

And I am grateful for everything I have.

But it's just not fair.

I requested that the amount be reviewed.... And of course he up and quits his job as soon as DHS sends him a letter notifying him it's going to happen.

WTH?!.

They basically handed him a "get out of child support" card.

Not that it matters... My case is in line to be reviewed at some unknown time in the future.

I can't afford to take him back to court on my own, and no one at DHS can tell me anything.

This just sucks.

How can someone have no conscience?

How can a man just not care about his children?

Why do men look at it like they are doing their ex / the woman a "favor" by helping support their own kids?

How can a man be okay with seeing his children four days a month (if even that sometimes)?

There are so many questions I have; so many "Hows" and "Whys" I just can't comprehend. And complaining how unfair it is isn't going to solve anything... I realize this. But I don't know what will either.

I guess this is part of my karma - just something I'm meant to go through in this life.

You Have 10 Seconds…

Husband#2 & I took the kids to this little Italian place nearby for dinner last night. It’s this place called FIGO, which has the same idea as one of my favorite Atlanta restaurants (Chow Baby), except it’s just pasta. I have to say, the food wasn’t all that great – and I don’t think it was our fault, since (unlike Chow Baby) you don’t get total creative control over the creation of your meal. Basically: you pick your pasta, you pick your sauce, and then you can choose to add chicken or whatever.

Christian’s new favorite color is green, so he went for the green noodles. I just knew he wasn’t going to like it, but I let him pick it anyway. And wouldn’t you know it……..

GABI is the one who ended up hating her pasta!

We told the lady the kids like Fettuccini Alfredo (yes! they finally like pasta with a sauce – instead of just the noodles). We were told, however, they didn’t have Alfredo sauce (that should have been our 1st sign: What Italian restaurant doesn’t have Alfredo sauce??) – but the lady behind the counter assured us they had something similar.

To our surprise, Christian woofed down ALL of his pasta. He had the same sauce as Gabi, and so did I. My opinion: it really was kinda yucky. :/ especially if you’re expecting something similar to Alfredo. I mean, I didn’t even finish all my pasta. And pasta is my FAVORITE.

So, when Gab had only eaten one noodle (even after we had sent her food back to be remade), Husband#2 fired off to her, “You have TEN seconds to get that food on that fork.”

Gabi proceeded to grunt, sit up in her chair, grab her fork, and stab a noodle……. then sink back down to sulk about how nasty her meal was.

I couldn’t help it: I DIED OUT LAUGHING!!

Husband#2 shot me a look, thinking I was defying him, of course.

“You told her she had ten seconds to put the food on the fork… You didn’t tell her to put it in her mouth and eat it.”

It’s just so funny to me how literal kids are sometimes.

Sowy

My son is almost always doing something to crack me up. I could write a book of the funny things he says and does (hmmm.... that's a thought).

Being me, I decided it would be a good idea to roam all of Michael's. I do this just about every time I shop - especially there. I guess I'm searching for inspiration or something. Or maybe just making quadruple sure I didn't miss/forget anything. I had to have gone down every aisle in the store and ended up not getting anything anyway (GO ME! Yay! for not spending any money). My son, however, managed to snag a souvenir.

We get out to the car, and his tattle-tale sister belts out, "MOMMA! Christian STOLE something!"

What?!.

I turned around to see my son raise his eyebrows and throw on his cute little smirk as he pulled a tiny bunch of plastic grapes from his pocket.

In my defense, It's hard to be stern when he's so cute... And yes, the first words out of my mouth were, "What are you gonna do with THOSE??"

He made the sound that somewhat resembles "I don't know," and grinned some more.

{sigh}

I marched him right back in the store, telling him all the way that he had to take them back, apologize, and that I hoped they didn't call the police on him and take him to jail. He didn't seem all that phased, so I tried to make it sound worse and worse as we walked.

We got inside, and I asked for the manager. I think she thought I was going to complain about her people, as mad as I (hopefully) looked. "Go on, Christian. Tell her what you did."

He just held his hand full of grapes out and breathed, "Sowy."

The manager was on the same page with me and kept the story about the police going: "Oh... I see... Well, you have to promise me you won't do this again. [Christian nodded] I would hate to have to call the police and have them take you to jail. Your mommy would be very sad -"

And that's when I lost it.......

Our jail threats clearly were no biggie, because Christian chimed in, "Oh, that's okay. It'll only be for one day."

[slap forehead] Doh!

The Culprit

This incident reminded my sister and my mom of when we were younger and had sticky little fingers. Our mom made us take the stuff back and apologize, too. But, really, it wasn't the same... cause what we "stole" was going to be trash anyway!

Our mom was browsing through the purses in a department store, and my sister and I must have been intrigued by the little paper identification inserts in the wallets - cause we snagged a whole bunch of them. Most people chunk those anyway, right? No harm. I wanna say they had fake boxes of cigarettes in the cig pouches, too (you know, just big filters) - yeah, we took those.

Anyway, we were busted and had to be humiliated by returning the "valuables". Lesson learned.

Somehow I doubt my son's experience is going to have the same effect...

Choose Your Words Wisely

I like to take my kids to Barnes & Noble. There are all kinds of birds we can knock out with that stone: Gabi gets to add books to her monthly reading logs, Christian gets in some "boy time" at the train table, I get to thumb through a couple pages of my latest self-help book, and my mocha frap fix is taken care of.

So I took the kiddos to B&N after school yesterday. I think I actually got to read two pages of my book - a silly, but strangely hard to obtain goal when I'm accompanied by two youngins. Gabi added about five more books to her reading log for April; she's says she hates reading, but she's soooo good at it! Her teachers say she's already at a 2.6 (as of a few months ago) reading level - which means she reads as well as 2nd graders in their 6 month... something like that.

And being a proud mom is getting me off track... This post is actually about Christian. Ah, Christian, Christian, Christian... My Boy.

Sometimes I don't think Christian was born with the ability to adjust the volume of his little 5 year old voice. Then I remember I can never hear him in the mornings when he's tired and half-answering my questions under his breath. Okay, he can do it. He just doesn't want to.

This was the case yesterday in B&N. I had to keep getting onto him about using his inside voice. He gets so excited when he finally has some male bonding goin' on, and he's like yelling at whoever is within arms reach. To add to it, he was crawling all over the floor, under the train table.

So, after reminding him to turn it down and get up about five million times, I called him over and asked if he wanted to keep playing with his friends, or if he wanted to sit beside me. Of course he picked his friends (Moms are no fun) - to which I warned him, "Okay. But play on top of the table like your friends... not under."

And, being literal, my son goes over and crawls on TOP of the train table to sit and play.

{sigh}

"No, Christian... I didn't mean SIT on top of the table."

I guess I really need to think before I speak.

Save a Christian Blogathon

Let me preface this post by clarifying: Christian is my son. The following is in no way a religious campaign.

You know those mothers, the ones who think their children are so sweet and innocent...?? The teacher must have something against their children, or maybe their child is just misunderstood. Well, lately I have been that mother. And I really don't WANT to be. But I keep feeling like maybe that persona just crept through for an unexpected visit. And to me, that's as bad as those women on A Baby Story who reenact their own personal version of The Exorcist during labor [and, for the record, my immense disgust - and probably FEAR of becoming one of those women - kept me from becoming Linda Blair. My sister is my witness. Two points for me :) ].

My son has always been my child with a big heart. He's actually my sweet one: so loving and giving - melt your heart kind of sweet when you catch it. But, for some reason, he's the one with the behavior problem at school here recently. My "Miss Independent" know-it-all daughter (who is only six, by the way) is on her perfect color everyday, and my angelic little boy has horns that emerge between 8 AM and 2 PM.

In all honesty, I'm completely clueless about how to 'fix' the situation - or even make it a little better. He's in "Time Out" EVERY DAY now. I'm lucky if he takes one day off from his new routine a week! Last Friday was his only good day all week!

I've tried rewarding him at the end of the week with little Hot Wheelz cars, if he manages to stay out of TO.

I've tried taking away video games (and even took away watching someone else play them).

I've tried taking away all his sleep buddies (and then letting him earn one back with every Non-Time Out day).

I've even tried spankings - which I feel is kind of like spanking a dog when you've caught him an hour or two after he's peed on the floor... What's the point??

So, my latest attempt: Today I got his sister a big surprise as a reward for having such good behavior. Being excluded brought bug crocodile tears to my little boy's eyes at first (here's my heart; I saved you the trouble of RIPPING it out), but it was pretty soon out of sight, out of mind. I guess I have to wait til tomorrow to see if it made a dent.

Til then, the blog lines are open and accepting your verbal donations toward this great cause. The comment is free, and YOU could potentially help save a Christian... and his butt.